


Line Up

by bgd_thrifty



Series: Read Between the Lines [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Established Relationship, F/M, Insecurity, M/M, Open Relationships, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Relationship Negotiation, Self-Esteem Issues, Voyeurism, except not really, implied eating disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 02:43:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2332352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bgd_thrifty/pseuds/bgd_thrifty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Steve’s thinking about how good their bodies look pressed tightly together and how Bucky, when Steve and him kiss, is always careful not to lean too heavily on him lest he break. He’s never wished he was a girl, even if he’s been called a prissy fairy queen his whole life, but right now he’d give anything to swap places with Sharon.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Can you 'spice up' a sex life that doesn't actually exist? A continuation of the series I started with <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/2319260">It's all Implied</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Line Up

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again for the great response I've had so far! On that note, this fic will make much less sense if you haven't read the first fic in this series, [It's all Implied](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2319260).
> 
> EDIT: This fic is now merged with It's all Implied and will not be updated further. Sorry for any confusion!

Steve has never been less happy to have his hand on his dick. Frankly, his absentminded stroking is only just about keeping him hard because his stomach is turning and it’s pretty difficult to maintain an erection when you want to throw up. Here are the facts:

Bucky Barnes and Sharon Carter are fucking on Steve’s bed. They are fucking and Steve is not allowed to interact except for as some kind of voyeur because if he touches Bucky in a sexual manner, he might not like the consequences. When Bucky suggested it – _this_ , Steve thought he might as well try and see it through but he sorely regrets that decision. Steve is gay. He likes Sharon as a friend though he is not as close to her as her sister Peggy (and thank God for that because he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to look Sharon in the eye after today), but her body awakens no sexual desire within him. Just jealousy.

Steve’s thinking about how good their bodies look pressed tightly together as Bucky fingers Sharon and how Bucky, when Steve and him kiss, is always careful not to lean too heavily on him lest he break. Bucky and Sharon are on their sides and making out sloppily, the way people who are distracted by other things do. Sharon has a leg thrown over Bucky’s hip and so Steve can see the way Bucky’s fingers slide in and out of her, glistening. Her feet flex intermittently and her breath stutters. Steve’s glad she’s enjoying herself.

He’s sitting in a computer chair at the foot of the bed, slightly off to one side so he can what, swivel around to get all the angles? Slide from one side of the room to the other? He’s good where he is, thanks. This way he can see everything. He can see when Sharon goes rigid and comes and Bucky uses that opportunity to sink into her. When they’re hip to hip, Bucky wipes sweaty hair out of Sharon’s face and smiles gently at her and Steve feels his heart clench. He’s never wished he was a girl, even if he’s been called a prissy fairy queen his whole life, but right now he’d give anything to swap places with Sharon.

Steve’s been this thin for a long time now, and back when he had ‘meat on him’ as diplomatic people called it, he’d been far too insecure to make moves on anyone. So he has no idea what it’s like to not have people complain throughout that your bones are hurting them, that you’ve got no ass to cushion their thrusts, that when your chest heaves they can count all your ribs – ‘ _and that’s sick, Steve’_. Bucky doesn’t look like he’s got any of those complaints about Sharon. They fit together perfectly, two people with curves and muscles in all the right places. Sometimes Steve still wonders if Bucky’s made up an elaborate excuse so that he never actually has to interact with Steve’s naked body. If Steve is as repulsed by it on a daily basis as he is, surely others must feel the same. Maybe that’s why Bucky won’t have sex with him. Steve feels like shit after he’s thought that, of course, but the thoughts still come. How can they not?

Steve closes his eyes as he hears the noises pick up. If he doesn’t get off, then Bucky and Sharon might ask questions. And if they ask questions, Steve might cry. No one wants that, so Steve licks his palm and works it over his dick, planting his feet on the seat of the chair so he can thrust up more effectively. He’d like to say that he and Bucky come together but why would they? They’re not in sync in anything.

Sharon goes for a shower after and Steve hears Bucky pad over to him.

“Good?” Steve opens his eyes and Bucky is grinning at him with all his might. Who would Steve be if he tried to wipe that smile off Bucky’s face?

“Yeah, Buck. Real good,” he replies, and tilts his head up for a kiss. Bucky complies but Steve can _feel_ how Bucky angles his body away from him so their naked skin doesn’t touch. Steve feels another block of ice settle itself in his soul.

* * *

 

“I’m not a sex object, Steve. I’m a human and I’m your friend. You can’t just use me and discard me.” Sharon is angry and righteously so. Steve flushes red and the older lady browsing his art in the corner gives them a scandalous look and walks out. Sale lost.

“I’m sorry, Sharon. I’ve been busy,” he says, gesturing around at the shop. She looks unimpressed which is fair because it’s been two weeks since he talked to her. “Let me just close up. It’s nearly lunch, anyway. We can talk in the back.” He flips the sign to ‘back in an hour!’, locks the door and leads Sharon through to the small kitchen in the back.

“Sandwich?” Steve asks, rooting through the fridge. He won’t be able to eat now he’s nervous – not that he wanted to anyway, but he’s getting close to landing himself back in hospital or so everyone says – but maybe Sharon might like a bite or two to distract from the conversation.

“I’m fine,” she says, shortly. There is a pregnant pause.

“Look, I don’t get you and Bucky’s thing. I mean, I thought you were both gay but being into girls too doesn’t mean you get to treat them badly.”

“Bucky’s bi,” Steve states absently. Sharon raises an eyebrow.

“But you…”

“I’m gay.”

“So why? I mean I’d say it’s none of my business but you kind of made it that way,” Sharon says. Steve shrugs.

“Me and Bucky don’t actually-” Steve wiggles two of his fingers together but Sharon looks at him blankly. “- _fondue._ So we were tryin’ to see if we could be intimate by proxy, I guess.” He looks at a point over her shoulder while Sharon clearly struggles to process this information.

“What? No, don’t elaborate, it’s none of my business.” Steve doesn’t know if she’s taken pity on him or if she’s worked out more – she is incredibly intelligent after all – that he’d like her to, but her tone has softened and she puts an arm around his shoulder. Like most people he knows, Sharon is physically larger than he is and he finds the half embrace quite comforting. She squeezes his upper arm and Steve presses his forehead to her shoulder for a moment in thanks.

She starts talking about the shop and how much she likes the recent set-up and Steve doesn’t think he’s ever been so grateful.


End file.
